"FOOD FOR THOUGHT ON FRIENDSHIP"
In our lives, maraming pagkakataon na hindi halos natin nabibigyan nang ibayong attention o pagpapahalaga in which those things if we'll only give a chance to be lingered will definitely bring enormous impact to ourselves. Lalong-lalo na ang tungkol sa pagkakaroon natin nang mga kaibigan (even our own relatives). Why don't we sit back for awhile, relax and begin our travel to further examine deepest what our heart, mind and other physical attributes want to shout out loud:
Sometime in the past, at kahit ngayon ay patuloy na nangyayari pa rin, we have realized that we don't have to change friends if we know those friends have had changed. Kung inaakala nating dati silang mabuting kaibigan kahit na sa bandang huli'y napagtanto nating sila'y nagbago in any manner - hindi natin kailangang sila'y ating palitan. The ego is there, let's respect whatever decision they've made after all, they were our friends before, where we shared our problems, laughter, etc.
Hindi rin natin maiwasang isipin when we have realized that no matter how good a friend is, inconveniences usually occur inevitably and a true understanding of the situation is a must for both sides. That's how friends are for. We don't need to be one-sided at all. Kung kinakailangang ibaba natin ang ating pride, there's nothing wrong with it just to protect the camaraderie and friendship we have previously both established with one another. Good or best friendship is a give and take process. One has to yield for the sake of an argument and to give peace a chance.
And why this topic has been the focal point of this discussion? Kasi nga, kahit na gaano pa ka-close ang pagkakaibigan ng dalawa o mahigit pang tao - hindi talaga maiiwasan na magkaroon ito ng anumang deliberations, heated-discussions or arguments that sometime lead to disagreements that partially spoil the friendship. Tulad ng isang maayos na couple, we should not let any friendship's dilemma na lubugan ng araw. Sooner or later, it will add more pain to the injury kaya, ora-mismo kailangang ma-resolve ang conflict para sa kaginhawahan ng dalawang panig.
Communication gaps usually are attributed sa maliliit na tampuhan lang muna ng magkakaibigan na kung minsan ang nasabing maliit na baga ay nagiging isang malaki at mapamuksang apoy dahilan sa paghihip ng hangin (sulsol ng mga makakati ang dila) na kung hindi maaapula kaagad ay siguradong tutupok sa isang matagal nang pagkakaibigan - how strong the friendship's bond maybe.
What we are good friends for? Ito ang isang ordinaryong katanungang nasusubukan sa mga oras ng pangangailangan. This simple question determines the truest essence of friendship ng dalawang panig. There are people na talagang ibinubuwis o isinusugal ang kanilang sariling buhay for the sake of a friend's safety and welfare. Mayroon din namang kaibigan lang na maituturing kung kaharap, ngunit sa katotohanan, kapag nakikita na niyang ang kanyang kaibiga'y nalulunod na sa dami ng problema, unti-unti siyang nawawala sa limelight.
Ibig sabihin, we know ourselves kung sinu-sino sa ating mga kaibigan ang tapat sa atin gayundin ang mga nagbabalatkayo (gumagamit ng iba't-ibang strategies to win our friendship then later on, lilitaw ang kanyang pagiging makasaliri or being an opportunist). We can find this kind of human beings everywhere - sabi nga, kahit saang gubat, may ahas (gubat sa kasukalan, maging gubat sa kalunsuran).
Note: I've written this article based on my close friend's experience with his other friend, and may this episode serves a WARNING TO US ALL.
With this, we must safeguard first and foremost our own well-being and be observant of our friends na itinuturing. Magkaminsan kasi, kapag ibinigay natin sa kanila ang ating daliri, unti-unti nating mararamdaman na ang kanyang isusunod na hangarin ay ang kunin ang ating buong kamay, then buong braso, so on and so forth. Kaya, huwag nating hihintaying lumala pa ang isang sitwasyon before it would be too late for us to act decisively. Hindi mahirap ang magsabi ng katotohanan kung ang nalalagay sa balag nang alanganin ay ang sarili nating kapakanan. True friends easily understand his friend's predicaments. Somehow, we must act brilliantly and avoid anything that might in one way or the other hurt somebody's feelings. Magagawa naman natin ito sa isang mabuting pamamaraan without offending someone.
This time of global economic downturn, maraming mga mababangis na hayup na nagtatago sa anyo ng mababait na tupa. Let's not fall (a) victim/s on this, lalo na sa iba't-ibang uri ng scams (pyramid particularly)na usung-uso sa ating bansa.
A major example that happened in America just recently was where Bernard Maddoff, ex-Chairman of the Stock Exchange in Wall Street victimized a lot of affluent individuals, banks, businessmen, investors, including some from countries in Europe (UK, Germany, France, etc) with more than 50 billion US dollars. Said case is still under investigation / litigation - nag-suicide pa nga ang isa niyang victim kamakailan who lost 2 billion dollars of his investments in Madoff's pyramid scam. (New York Post: Maddof Scam Becomes "Earth" Quake, $50 Billion Disaster Ripples From Tokyo to Geneva).
On the other hand, hindi masamang tayo'y tumulong at hindi rin masama ang tayo'y makisama. However, we must put everything in moderation and to check very well kung sinu-sino ang dapat nating tulungan. Kadalasan pa nga'y wala tayong maitulong dahil tayo mismo sa ating sarili ay kinakapos at ngangailangan din ng tulong. Huwag tayong padadala sa simbuyo ng ating damdamin o sa ating pagiging maawain.
"FOOD FOR THOUGHT ON FRIENDSHIP" will hopefully help safeguard us all in our dealing with uncscrupulous individuals. We ultimately know who our good friends are, sila ang mga tao or individuals na higit na nakakaunawa sa ating hirap na kalagayan sa matulungan natin sila o hindi. Kung may mga mabubuti tayong kaibigan, we as well must be aware of those who are just turn-coat our friends.
TONY R. MONTERAS (malaking ibon)
OFW, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
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